


Alfie Solomons Lockdown Headcannons

by Higgles123



Series: Peaky Blinders and Tom Hardy Character Headcannons and Alphabets [21]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27405214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgles123/pseuds/Higgles123
Summary: Here in England, we're in lockdown again so I just got inspired to write these. There are mention of some modern day things so we'll just call this modern Alfie headcannons :)
Relationships: Alfie Solomons/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Peaky Blinders and Tom Hardy Character Headcannons and Alphabets [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971034
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Alfie Solomons Lockdown Headcannons

  * Alfie actually doesn’t mind the idea of lockdown; in fact he’s rather excited to be able to spend a lot of time around the house. He can spend some quality time with the children and he’s convinced he will be the best homeschool teacher there has ever been. He prepares colour coded schedules and he doesn’t pay any attention to the work the kids’ teachers have sent over. Oh no, Alfie’s got his own ideas of what he wants to teach his children; life lessons. History, maths, english and all that is good and well, but he’s going to take the opportunity to teach the children things they don’t get to learn at school.



  * It’s all going rather well for the first day or two; the children are very excited to have Daddy teaching them, especially because he’s set up the play room like a little school room and has them address him as Sir. He has a special waistcoat just for teaching to help him get into character and everything. The children thinks it’s all a great deal of fun but by day three they’re fed up of home schooling and they just want to play with Alfie and not listen to him teach them about the importance of knowing your enemies’ weaknesses or how to intimidate people into getting what you want. Alfie actually is quite offended by their lack of interest and ends up leaving them in his wife’s capable hands, feeling a little bit put out and making sure everyone knows it.



  * With the children off playing with Mum and sitting glued to their iPads, Alfie decides to use the lockdown wisely by doing some of the jobs around the house that his wife has been nagging him to do for quite some time. Repainting the skirting boards, fixing the dodgy window in the kitchen, clearing out all of the crap he gathers and refuses to get rid of because he may need or want it one day etc.



  * The Amazon man delivers parcels pretty much every day because Ollie made the mistake of telling Alfie about Amazon Prime and so now he spends every evening scouring the website for nifty little tools and gadgets to make his DIY jobs easier to do. The strange thing is though that these gadgets seem to be arriving by the hour but his wife’s yet to actually see Alfie use most of them. Instead he just gets them out of their boxes and leaves them lying around as though to show her that he intends on using them imminently.



  * A week into lockdown and the house looks slightly like a bomb has gone off because in typical Alfie fashion he can’t just start one job and finish it. Oh no, he starts about five different jobs all at once, never properly finishing one before starting another. He can’t understand why his wife is annoyed at all.



  * Suitably fed up with DIY, Alfie has discovered Netflix. So when he’s not playing with the children or pretending to be finishing up some of the jobs he’s left in a right mess, he’s hiding in his office pretending to be doing some very important paperwork when he’s actually just watching a disgusting amount of tv series’ on Netflix. His favourite thing to watch is the Great British Bake Off (because he definitely fancies himself as the next Paul Hollywood) and also reality tv shows like Selling Sunset and Married At First Sight. He knows it’s pathetic but he just loves all the drama. He never realised just how bitchy girls were before and it’s actually fucking glorious.



  * During lockdown, Alfie flat out refuses to let his wife go out and get the food shopping or anything that’s needed because he wants to keep her and kids as safe as possible. And his wife appreciates the thoughtfulness, of course she does, but she also wishes he would change his mind for two reasons. One; he never gets what’s on the list and two; she wants to get out of the house and away from Alfie and the kids for an hour because they’re all driving her mad. And when the post comes through the door, Alfie acts as though someone has just posted a bomb. He screams at everyone to stay away and then grabs his steam cleaner (another Prime purchase- actually a useful one to be fair) and sprays it to death until it’s clean enough, and then will hand his wife the mail that is now so soggy it’s practically disintegrating. _“Yeah but at least it aint contaminated now, love.”_



  * Eventually as the lockdown goes on, Alfie ends up agreeing to take her and the children out to the park so long as the children don’t go on the playground (swings, slide etc) and this is when she gets to witness firsthand how Alfie behaves in public during this pandemic. He death glares anyone who comes even a centimetre closer than two metres to any of them and God help anyone who accidentally sneezes or coughs. Oh, and if he sees anyone breaking the lockdown rules, he will forget about his dislike of the police and absolutely shop the person.



_Alfie (peering through the curtains at the house across the street): “Absolute fuckin’ disgrace.She’s got another person in her house now; that’s three people this week. Where’s my notebook so I can write this down and give it to the police. In fact, better still pass me my phone so I can take a picture.”_

_His wife: “Alfie, she’s an eighty year old woman and her husband’s just died of coronavirus.”_

_Alfie: “Well she should know fuckin’ better then, shouldn’t she?”_

  * Once the bakery re opens (when the restrictions have eased slightly across the country) Alfie is like a crazed man. He buys his own laser thermometer gun and insists on taking everyone’s temperatures at multiple times throughout the day without warning. He will literally just walk up to someone as though he is about to shoot them and point the thermometer right between their eyes, enjoying the panic on their faces. And masks… dear God above, he also conducts mask investigations. If someone’s not wearing their mask correctly he wants to know why; if their mask is nicer than his (because Alfie has serious mask envy and a slight addiction to buying new ones- just ask his wife) he will send them home immediately; if they are wearing the same mask they wore the previous day then he wants to swab them with a nifty little gadget he got on Prime to check the amount of germs on things, so that he can make sure the mask _was_ washed the night before. Oh and we must not forget hand washing. He has no shame in standing right at the toilet door making sure that whoever is using the bathroom is washing their hands to his satisfaction, and if they’re not he’ll do it for them. _“My fuckin’ three year old can wash his hands better than you. No wonder we’re in the midst of a pandemic if grown men need help washin’ their own hands. Now fuck off.”_



  * When the lockdown is finally lifted, Alfie’s not sure whether or not to be happy in all honesty. But his wife most definitely is more than happy!




End file.
